South Park Wasteland series
by The Vampire Deathwind
Summary: The kids live on after a nuclear war. New Chapter up!
1. Episode 101

South Park Wasteland Series.  
  
Episode 101.--The Thawing.  
  
Bunker.  
  
Fade from black to a hill in the desert. Camera slowly revolves 180 degrees to show a concrete door frame with severe rust stains on it, showing that the door frame is made of rebarred concrete. The door is made of bullet proof steel. Pan inside the bunker. The floors are made of white ceramic tiles, the walls are made of light grey concrete, which is so smooth , that from a distance it looks almost like plastic. The ceiling is coated with white plaster and ever present fluorescent lights, there are three doors in the hallway, one aligned on either side and one at the end. The inner doors are the same as the outer door, only less coroded. There is a sign for each door, the left hand side door reads 'Male Dorms', the one on the right hand side reads 'Female Dorms'. There is a small amount of dust on the floor and the lights are off. The third sign reads 'Lower Levels.'.  
  
Pan down to Lower Levels. There is another hallway underground a floor, this one is horizontal, with nine doors adorning it, including the elevator. Six doors are on the side facing the elevator, and the side the elevator has two doors on its side, aligned with doors on the other side. Each door has a different label, there is also a map showing the layout of each floor, bordered by that black and yellow Caution design, the boarder is about an inch thick. The map labels that the fourth basement is a cryo chamber, the third is a power plant and control centre, the second basement is an armory, more dorms, and equipment depot. Pan down to fourth basement. There are four rooms, 'Male Chambers, Male Changing Rooms', and 'Female Chambers, Female Changing Rooms.', each is connected accordingly. Pan inside the Male Chambers. There are two hundred large glass tubes, each is illuminated and ice blue, and each has an adult or child of the male persuasion within.  
  
The camera wanders through the tubes until it comes across one tube in particular. Pan to top of tube. There is a deep yellow label with large black letters reading: Kenneth McCormick. A small LED light on his tube flicks from red to green. A small dribble of water rolls down the glass surface of the tube, the water is melted frost on the outside of the glass tube. Time passes, the tube has a floor made of perforated stainless steel where the melt water is then deposited into the ground. Kenny lay on the floor of the tube nude, in the fetal posisition, and groggy from the one hundred seventy eight year rest in the cryo tube. His blond hair slicked back from the excess melt water, Kenny rises, and stumbles around towards the change rooms.  
  
Pan to Male Changing Rooms. Kenny enters as the ceiling lights flick on instantly, having detected motion, temporarily blinding Kenny in the process. Kenny regains his vision and focus and sees what the room looks like. The room is divided into three sections:changing rooms, showers, and bathrooms. The changing rooms have benches in the middle of the room, and the walls are lined with cubbyholes, each containing white boxer shorts, socks, and a T-shirt. The showers are all in a large room, lining the rooms walls. The bathroom is smaller than the shower, but like it, the stalls line the walls. Kenny goes into a stall and relives himself, and then goes into a shower stall and washes off the excess water, and well over a centuries worth of drug induced sleep. Kenny makes his way to the changing room, dresses himself, and goes into the main hall.  
  
Pan to main hall. Kenny stands in front of the elevator, he presses the up button, and waits for the elevator, when he hears footsteps, altough he could sense the person coming without the sound, from behind him, to his left. He turns around to see a black haired, olive skinned girl of nine years old clad in a white T-shirt, socks and womens boxers.  
  
Kenny: Lenni?  
  
Lenni: Hi.(She smiles at Kenny and walks over to him. The elevator arrives, and it's doors open.)  
  
Kenny: You first.(Smiles, Lenni steps into the elevator, Kenny follows. The elevator is walled by full length mirrors with handles protruding from the waist level. Kenny presses 3 on the elevator panel, and leans on the handle while the doors close.)  
  
Lenni:So, you doing okay?  
  
Kenny:Yeah, considering I don't know how long we've been frozen.  
  
Lenni:Eh, we'll find out soon enough.  
  
(The elevator stops, and a computerized chime plays as the doors open.)  
  
Pan to third floor. There is a hall with a door a either end of the hall. A sign in front of the elevator reads:  
  
Power Station.  
  
Control Centre.   
  
Kenny goes to the left, Lenni follows.  
  
Pan to Power Station. The room is a fairly large one, with the free space in the shape of an L. There is a mass of engines, convertors, and other electricity producing appuratus concealed behind two walls of inch-thick, bulletproof lucite, while there are various measuring devices, computers, and various switching mechanisims. Kenny checks everything over, nods, and goes into the Control Centre.  
  
Pan to Control Centre. The Control Centre looks like any decent high school computer room, minus the windows, cheerfully colourful posters and pin ups, and the uglyass plastic chairs that if sat in by someone in a certian way, cause severe , painful rectal bleeding.  
  
One of the computers is turned on. Kenny looks over the monitor, nods, and he and Lenni head for the second basement.  
  
Pan to second basement. Kenny and Lenni stepped off the elevator, into another hallway, exactly like the one below it.  
  
The sign now reads:  
  
Equipment Depot.  
  
Armory.   
  
Kenny and Lenni go into the Equipment Depot and get dressed in something more fitting. The Equipment Depot is divided into three sections. Clothing, Changing Rooms, and Equipment. Kenny and Lenni each grab some clothing from the cubbyholes, racks, and hangers, Ten minutes pass. Kenny steps out of the changing room wearing blue jeans, a deep yellow T-shirt, a denim vest, and combat boots. Lenni is wearing a light grey T-shirt, a dark grey tactical vest, and grey BDU pants with combat boots. Kenny goes into the Equipment section, followed by Lenni. Kenny grabs an M-1956 utility belt and an M-1956 bandolier, Lenni grabs a drop down holster for her right leg, and drop down ammo pouches for her left, as well as an LC-2 utility belt. They make their way to the armory. The walls have gun racks built into them, there are shelves and drawers filled with more guns, and ammunition of every kind. Kenny fills his bandolier with 20 round M16A1 clips. Kenny grabs a Colt .45. Lenni fills her mag pouches with pistol clips. She grabs a Glock 18 and holsters it. They head back down to the control centre and bring up a program that controls the thawing of those still frozen. Lenni sits at the main computer.  
  
Lenni: So, how do we do this? I know how to work this, but should we thaw everyone out now, or do it a few at a time?  
  
Kenny: If we do this all at once, things will get too confusing, few at a time's our best bet.  
  
Lenni: Yeah.(Smiles, gets to work.)  
  
Several hours later...  
  
(Kyle, and Cartman enter the Control Centre after getting dressed. Kyle is wearing kahaki pants, a blue T-shirt, and a brown M69 flak jacket, and desert combat boots. Kyle has red hair. Cartman is wearing OD green M107 pants, combat boots, a tan T-shirt, a desert Boonie hat. They both look somewhat tired.)  
  
Kyle: Hey guys.  
  
Cartman: Aw, gawd, don't tell me this poor piece of shit thawed me out!  
  
Lenni: Kenny didn't, I did. Call him that again and I'll contort your body into having rectal-cranial disease, we don't have time for this, go get something to eat, first basement, door labeled cafeteria, okay?  
  
Kyle: Sure. But why don't you go? What's rectal-cranial disease?  
  
Lenni: Having your head shoved up your ass. We have to stay and make sure everything works.  
  
Kenny: Yeah, last thing we need is the generator dying on us.  
  
Kyle: I see your point.(Leaves, Cartman is already at the elevator at the mention of food.)  
  
A few days pass. Stan, Wendy, Ashley, Matt and Chris have all been thawed out as well, but the generator would've overheated if any more were unthawed so quickly. Wendy is dressed in a woodland camo tanktop and jeans with runners, Stan is wearing blue jeans, a dark brown BDU jacket, and a deep yellow T-shirt. Ashley and Matt are in full desert combats with webbing and rucksacks. Chris is wearing an OD green jumpsuit and a tactical vest. Ashley and Matt have M4 carbines, Berretta M9's, and frag grenades. Chris has a Glock 18, an MP5K, and a sawed-off Remington 870.  
  
Pan to first basement, camera follows Kenny as he enters a room with some metal chairs surrounding a table. The room follows the same wall/ceiling/floor pattern as the rest of the bunker. The rest of the scamps are sitting around the table, the only spot left at the moment is at the head of the table. Kenny sits down.  
  
Kenny:(sigh.)So, what do we do now?  
  
Cartman: Well, ah think we should just stay here where it's safe.  
  
Ashley: I say we do some recon, see what's changed, for all we know there could be a whole new world out there, waiting to greet us.  
  
Cartman: AY! You listen to me bee-atch, I say we stay in, so we're staying in! (Matt slugs Cartman in the gut, his fist gets stuck.)  
  
Matt: Oh shit, I can't get out! Help! (Ashley grabs Matt around the waist and pulls, Chris grabs Ashley around the waist and pulls as well, they manage to get Matt's fist out from Cartman's stomach.)  
  
Kenny: It's decided then, Ashley, pick two people for recon.  
  
Ashley: Hmm...Matt and Stan.  
  
(Stan and Wendy look shocked.)  
  
Wendy(Angrily.):Don't fuck with me!!!  
  
Ashley(Confused.):Wha? Oh, you're afraid I'll steal Stan from you. No, I'm perfectly happy with Matt. Okay, get some sleep, I'll handle the gear. What kind of gun do you want Stan? Shotgun?  
  
Stan: Uh, okay.  
  
The next day...  
  
Pan to entry hall. The dust has been cleaned up. Wendy, Chris, Kenny, Lenni, Cartman, and Kyle are there to bid the group farewell. Stan has a pistol grip M870 shotgun and a shell bandolier.  
  
Wendy(has tears in her eyes.):I'll miss you Stan, be careful.(Kisses Stan on the cheek, he doesn't puke, but kisses her back. They smile at eachother.)  
  
Kyle: Yeah, be careful guys.  
  
Kenny: Yeah.  
  
Cartman: Don't die Stan, or I'll never hear the end of Wendy bitchin' about it!(Gets slugged in the stomach by Wendy, who doesn't get stuck in him.)  
  
Matt: Well, you could go instead of Stan.  
  
Cartman: Ahh! No way!  
  
Matt: Trust me, with Ashley and I nearby, Stan will at the most, stub his toe on something, if that even, so he's safe.  
  
The door opens. The sky is blue, everything appears normal.  
  
Stan: Holy shit!  
  
Ashley: There was a forest of pine trees here when we were sent to be frozen. Where did it go?  
  
Kenny: I dunno.  
  
Matt: Well, let's go.(The recon party leaves, waving at the bunker until they are out of sight.)  
  
--End Fic-- 


	2. Episode 102

South Park Wasteland Series.  
  
Episode 102.--Outside.  
  
Desert.  
  
We see a small gathering of slightly rusty trailers, RV's, and campers in the middle of a barren wasteland of parched, cracked dirt. Small children run and play among the mobile homes while the adults roam about accomplishing various tasks. The clothing and equipment they use is somewhat shabby and worn, some of it though is clearly manufactured, a man wearing a denim vest here, a child plays with a plastic airplane, thinking it's a car, a woman gathers berries and depostis them into a black leather purse. Three figures appear over the horizon. A girl and two boys.  
  
One of the trailer park men cries in alarm and runs into a trailer, emerging shortly armed with a rusted steel fire axe, others arm themselves with spears of sharpened wood, knives, chains, and clubs, and even a few machetes and begin to hoot and holler war cries. One of the men steps forward. He is decently well kept, clean shaven, in his mid-fourties, he has black hair with small wings of grey on his sideburns. He wears blue jeans and a black leather jacket with the arms torn off. He hefts a machete over his head, silencing the rest of the tribe, and steps forward towards the visitors.  
  
Ashley, Matt, and Stan arrive in the village.  
  
Tribal Chief:Hello. Please, do not harm us, our intentions are peaceful.  
  
Ashley:We mean you no harm if you mean the same. (Matt begins to scribble something out on a pad of paper. He's drawing a map. It shows a short line of features leading from their current posisition to the location of the bunker.So far, they have found the werckage of a 747, and a cluster of skeletons, possibly the site of a battle in the last days of the war that destroyed the North American nations.  
  
Matt:Ah, nice village, uh could you call your men off, our friend is getting kind of scared. (Pan to Stan, who is holding his shotgun close to his chest, looking about nervously.)  
  
Tribal Chief:Okay, if it pleases you. (Signals for his men to lower their weapons and go back to work, most do, but a few stay at hand should anything happen. Stan loosens up a little bit.)  
  
Matt:Thanks. Who in your village knows the geography of the surrounding area well?  
  
Tribal Cheif:The what?  
  
Matt:The lay of the land.  
  
Tribal Chief:Oh, yes, yes, Emilia over there knows the land very well. (points to a blue haired girl who is wearing torn off jeans and a dirty T- shirt that may have been white at one time.She smiles and waves to them.) My name is Marcus.  
  
Ashley:Ahh.  
  
One hour later...  
  
(Matt is being shown around the surrounding landmarks of the village by Emilia. They are at a stand of palm trees ontop of a small hill.)  
  
Emilia:W-well, this is the last thing t-th-there is.  
  
Matt:Okay. Thank you.(scribbles down some more on the map.)  
  
(Matt sits on a large flat rock inside the cover of the trees as he adds onto the map, which is VERY detailed. Emilia sits beside Matt.)  
  
Matt:What is it? Something wrong?  
  
Emilia:N-no. Aghhhhhh hell, t-tt-there is s-ss-something. I l-like y- you.(She pins Matt before he can do anyhting.) Please, do me, here, now!  
  
Matt:Wha? Ahh!! I have a girlfriend! She'll kill me if I cheat on her! She has the means to too! Stop!  
  
(Matt's screams are lost in the wind as the camera pans awy from the trees.)  
  
Bunker.  
  
Pan to Male Dorms, Kyle, Chris, and Cartman are playing The World Is Not Enough on an N64 that was found in the dorm, which looks similar to all the other rooms in the bunker, but there are lots of bunk beds in there, and a few TV's are built into the walls.  
  
Kyle:Dude! Lay off with the gratuitious head shots!  
  
Cartman:No way! I'm kicking your bitch ass!  
  
(Lenni bursts in without knocking.)  
  
Lenni:Guys, I have some bad news...  
  
Kyle:What?  
  
Cartman:Yeah, what bad news?  
  
Lenni:The cryo chambers fucked up. As a result, some of the adults in the tubes died.  
  
Kyle:Oh god...  
  
Cartman:(shrugs.)Eh, doesn't effect me.  
  
Lenni:Your mom died Cartman. I'm sorry. Kyle, your parents are doing okay, but if the power goes, so do they.  
  
Cartman:Eh... Eeeeeeeeyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(runs out of the room sobbing, Kyle just sits there in shock. Chris looks shocked too.)  
  
Lenni:Hold on.(runs to catch up with Cartman, who has already been stopped by Wendy and Kenny in the hall. Cartman slugs Wendy in the stomach and swings at Kenny, who blocks and restrains Cartman, who is sobbing.)  
  
Lenni:Dude, I did all I could, honest. I'm sorry, I really tried, I've gotta go make sure this thing doesn't fuck up again. (leaves, Wendy gets up, and places her hands on Cartman's shoulders. He stops sobbing.)  
  
Cartman:What?*sniff*Why the hell are you looking at me!?*sniff*  
  
Wendy:Dude, please, try to calm down, Lenni told me to unthaw some people, wanna come?  
  
Kenny:My parents are gone too, mind you, I never really gave a damn about them. (grumbles to self on subject.)  
  
Cartman:Well, ah guess.*sniff*(they go to the Control Centre.)  
  
  
  
Pan to Control Centre, Lenni is already there at the main computer when Cartman and Wendy arrive.)  
  
Lenni:Oh, Wendy, hold on a minute. If you want, you can go tell Kyle that his parents are okay.  
  
Cartman:Okay. (leaves for the elevator.)  
  
Lenni:Cartman needs someone. Should I thaw Lily out?  
  
Wendy:Yeah.  
  
Lenni:All rigth.(Begins typing away madly.)  
  
(Cartman returns after a few minutes.)  
  
Cartman:Ohay, ah told him.  
  
(Kenny enters.)  
  
Kenny:Hey, you doing okay?  
  
Lenni:Yeah.  
  
Wendy:Yep.  
  
Cartman:Okay ah guess, Ah guess the shock is settin' in now. God I need something to drink.(Leaves for cafeteria.)  
  
Pan to Cryo Chambers. Zoom in on Female Chambers, pan to a tube holding a blonde haired girl of about 8. The red on the tube light flicks to green.  
  
Pan to Male Chambers. Zoom in on a tube holding a brown haired boy, also about 8 years old. Once agian, the light switches to green from red.  
  
Male Dorms.  
  
(Chris is now reading a book. 'The Eye Of The World', by Robert Jordan and (The first in my favorite series of fantasy novels!:)  
  
Kyle is reading 'Wizard's First Rule', by Terry Goodkind.(Start of my second favorite fantasy series.) Cartman enters with bloodshot eyes and collapses on a bed, after belching VERY loudly. Chris and Kyle look up from their books and see that Cartman is quite drunk.  
  
Chris pulls out a small vial with some pills in it.)  
  
Kyle:Dude!Drugs are not cool!  
  
Chris:Relax, these are sleeping pills.(Plugs Cartman's nose and pops the pills in.Cartman passes out, but snores loudly.Chris nods at Kyle.)  
  
Kyle:Right.I take the legs, you take the arms.(They put Cartman on the bed properly, Chris and Kyle both look tired. They both collapse on the bed their books are on in exhaustion, bookmark their pages, and then pass out on the same bed, slack jawed and drooling somewhat.)  
  
Trailer Village.  
  
Ashley and Stan are sitting beside eachother on a bench crudely fashioned out of a 2 x 4 and some cinderblocks. the sun is setting.  
  
Ashley:Damn, Matt's taking long enough, when did he leave? How long has he been gone?  
  
Stan:When we were shown around the village. I guess at least two hours.(As if on cue, Matt walks up, looking sweaty, worn out, and some of his clothing is lopsided. Emilia follows closly.)  
  
Ashley:(looks Matt over, reaches for her pistol.)  
  
Matt:I swear, that bitch raped me!  
  
Emilia:You liked it!  
  
Matt:Shut up!  
  
(Emilia looks shocked, as do several others, who immeadiatly raise fire axes, shovels, and clubs.)  
  
Matt:What?What did I say?  
  
(Ashley grabs Matt, and Stan and the three run like hell as a bunch of villagers chase after them.Marcus stops them all.)  
  
Marcus:What is the meaning of this?  
  
Matt(points to Emilia.):She raped me!!!  
  
Ashley:Yeah, she raped him!  
  
Emilia:You liked it!  
  
Matt:Like hell I did, you were supposed to show me around, not show me around, and then fuck my brains out without my permission!  
  
Marcus:Actually, we need to do that in order to avoide inbreeding.  
  
Matt:I understand that much of it, but please, ask next time, okay?  
  
Marcus:I will adress it with my advisor.  
  
Ashley:Fuck it, we have to go now, have a nice day.(They run like hell out of the trailer park village.)  
  
Bunker.  
  
Male Dorms.  
  
(The lights have all been turned out, Kenny opens the door and directs two people in, a girl and a boy. The girl has long hair tied back in a ponytail, the boy is wearing glasses as we can see the light from the hall reflect off of them. The girl is wearing desert BDU pants and a sky blue tank top, the boy is wearing OD green BDU's.Cartman comes to.)  
  
Cartman(squinting.):Eh, ah see the light, and it burns!  
  
Girl:Hi Eric. Remember me?  
  
Cartman:Lily?  
  
Lily:Yes, I heard.(hugs Cartman)Dude, I'm so sorry. (sighs, pecks Cartman on the cheek.)  
  
Cartman:Thanks.(smiles.)Where are you going?  
  
Lily:Bed, I'm kind of tired. Dylan's here too.  
  
Dylan:Hey.  
  
Cartman:Hey.(Lily leaves, dylan takes the top bunk of one of the many beds and dozes off, Chris is awake now.Pan to top down view of Cartman and Chris, who are on bottom bunks of the beds they're on, both beds are connected at the head, so the top of Chris's head is aligned with Cartman's.We can see through the top bunks.)  
  
Chris:Hey Cartman, who was that?  
  
Cartman:Mah girlfriend, Lily.  
  
Chris:Your lucky dude, I was one of the most muscular guys in Ms.C's calss before we were all frozen, I was kind and sweet and had lots of money to boot and that didn't do shit. Damn I miss Rita.  
  
Cartman:You went out with her?  
  
Chris:No. We were just good friends, but I've made it very clear that I liked her.  
  
Cartman:Well, good luck, Kyle likes her too by the way.  
  
Chris:I've noticed. Well, night.  
  
Cartman:Yeahhhhhhh.........(word turns into a longass yawn, at the end of which, Cartman finally goes to sleep. Chris is hugging a chibi dool of Rita in his sleep.)  
  
--End Fic-- 


	3. Episode 103

South Park Wasteland Series.  
  
Episode 103.--Raiders.  
  
Desert.  
  
It's night, Ashley, Matt, and Stan have set up camp. The three are sitting around a fire, there is a single, tent made out of OD green canvas is about ten feet from the fire. Plane wreckage can be seen silhouetted in the background atop a hill, the moon and stars are out, and it's decently cool out.  
  
Zoom in on fire.  
  
Ashley:You okay Matt?  
  
Matt:Well, I can now say that I've been raped by a nymphomaniacal tour guide.  
  
Ashley:Uh, okay.(pecks Matt on the cheek, holds his hand.Stan is eating food from an Army rations pack.He is at the dessert, which looks like a massive, stiff, crumbly, somewhat shiny tounge. In reality it's a baked cherry dessert. I've had these before on Cadet exercises, the look like tounges, but they taste good.)  
  
Stan:What is this thing?  
  
Ashley:Cherry dessert.Don't want it?I love those.  
  
Stan:Oh.(begins to devouer the dessert.The sound of moterbikes revving in the background alerts the three of them.Ashley and Matt go for their M4's.Stan stuffs the rest of the dessert in his mouth and dives for his shotgun. Pan to hill. Several bikers are silhouetted in the moonlight. The bikers are armed with rifles and shotguns. One of them lets out a war cry and rides down the hill, waving a lever action shotgun over his head as the other bikers follow him in the post-apocalyptic equivilant of a cavalry charge.  
  
Shots are fired.  
  
There are seven bikers.  
  
Ashley stays with Stan and helps fight the bikers head on.  
  
Matt runs off to the side of the bikers and lays prone.  
  
A biker tries to shoot Stan in the head. *BOOM!!!!!!*  
  
The biker's head dissapears in a cloud of pink mist as the bike swerves in the sand and falls on one side.Stan pumps the shotgun and readies it again, looking kind of nervous.  
  
Matt switches the selection on his rifle to single shot.  
  
A second biker goes for Stan, trying to run over him as he works the action on his 870. *CRAK!!!!!!*  
  
The biker cluthces at his now wounded chest and slams into the bike of the first guy to attack Stan.  
  
A biker rips at Ashley's shirt with his hand. *CRAK!!!!!!*  
  
The biker's bloody, disembodied hand falls to the ground lifelessly, as the biker stares in shock at the stump left over, than begins screaming. *BOOM!*  
  
The remaining bikers ride off, their leader rurns towards the kids before going over the hill.  
  
Biker leader:I will have your heads boys!And I will personally see to it that your little girlfriend suffers more than just a gunshot wound to the face!!!(laughs manically as he and his remaining vassels ride off into the night.Matt returns to the group, Ashley hugs him tightly.  
  
Ashley:Good shooting. Dude, we have to get back to the bunker and warn the others about these guys.  
  
Stan:Yeah. I saw the look in that guys face when he tried to take your shirt, I'm scared that they'll end up getting to the bunker, and the others before us.  
  
Matt:Well, we could use these bikes.  
  
15 minutes later.  
  
(Stan, Ashley, and Matt are riding Harley's in the desert.Ashley and Matt have their Beretta's handy if needed.)  
  
Bunker.  
  
It's morning now, Wendy, Kyle, Kenny, Lenni, Dylan, Cartman, Chris, and Lily are sitting at a table in one of the rooms eating a breakfast of bacon, eggs, and frighteningly overburnt toast.  
  
Chris:Sorry about the toast guys.  
  
(Kyle bites into a piece of toast and screams painfully, spitting out the toast, and a small amount of blood.)  
  
Kyle:AAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YO UR TOAST CUT ME!  
  
Chris:Oops.Lemme see that.(picks up the piece of toast and cuts himself on it.) OW!You're right it is sharp.  
  
Wendy:Here, let me get something for that.(Gets up and goes to a first aid kit that's handy. She removes a bottle of iodine coated bandages that stick to wet surfaces, perfect for oral or rectal wounds!)  
  
Wendy:Open your mouth, there!(puts the bandage in, it sticks, and kyle's scream becomes even louder.  
  
Cartman:seriously Chris, ah think I know why Rita never went out with you.  
  
Chris:Why's that?  
  
Cartman:Well look at Kyle and what your toast's done to him!  
  
Chris:Ah, I see your point.  
  
Dylan:So, you're Pip's brother?  
  
Chris:Yeah.Why do you ask?  
  
Dylan:No reason, I didn't know he had any family, that's all.  
  
Chris:When you get to know him he's pretty cool.  
  
Cartman:Dude, Pip couldn't be cool if his life depended on it!  
  
Chris:(Clears throat.)SHADDUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Sounds like 'WHASSUP!!!')  
  
Cartman:Geez dude, lay off.  
  
Lily:Don't mind him.(Squeezes Cartman like a teddy bear.)  
  
Dylan:Chris, learn to cook, it could save a life someday.(Pan to Kyle, who has screamed most of the oxygen out of his body and is now passed out in his chair.Kenny and Lenni haul him out of the room and go to drop him off at the male dorms.)  
  
Chris:I try!I've been told my pizza's okay.  
  
Lily:Take out doesn't count.  
  
Chris:it wasn't take out. I just stole the recipe from Pizza Pizza, therefore it's not take out, it's imitation take out.  
  
Lili:Point goes to Chris.  
  
Chris: Whoohoo!!!  
  
Later...  
  
(Chris is in the equipment room making something out of mechanical parts. It looks like a double barrelled blowback handgun.Dylan enters.)  
  
Chris: Oh, hey Dylan, wassup?  
  
Dylan:Not much. Kyle's doing okay, the cut inside his cheek is almost scabbed over.  
  
Chris:That's good.  
  
Dylan:The recon party's due back soon.  
  
Chris: Cool. I wonder what shape Stan, Ashley, and Matt are in?  
  
Desert.  
  
{Ashley, Stan, and Matt are sitting in a decently sized OD green canvas tent. The captured bikes lay outside.}  
  
Ashley (Angry, yelling.): Damnit! Why didn't you see the bunker?  
  
Matt (Slightly less angry, voice raised a bit.): It was dark, the bunker is well concealed, and we were going fast. That's why.  
  
Stan: Dude, can't we just backtrack? I mean, that would work, right?  
  
Ashley: Well, okay. Let's go. (They all get up and begin to take down the tent.)  
  
Bunker.  
  
{All of the guys are sleeping in the male dorms. Lenni opens the door with Kenny by her side. She pecks Kenny on the cheek, and then walks to Chris's bed and shakes him awake.}  
  
Lenni: Chris, wake up!  
  
Chris (groggy.): What?  
  
Lenni: Someone's being unthawed, someone that you know.  
  
Chris: Pip?  
  
Lenni: Rita.  
  
(Chris gets a bigass grin on his face.)  
  
Cryo Chambers.  
  
(Chris is sitting on a small folding stool he brought with him. He's sitting in front of a tube holding a girl with spiky red hair. Chris has a towel with him.)  
  
Several hours pass...  
  
(Chris is almost asleep when the tube finally drans of melt water, leaving it's contents lying on the grating, semi-consious.)  
  
Rita(groggy.):Hmm, eh?(sees Chris, realises she's nude and covers herself as  
  
Chris drapes a towel over her.)Thanks.  
  
Chris: Eh, don't mention it.  
  
Rita: Dude, what are you doing here?  
  
Chris: Well, I thought I'd help you out a bit.  
  
Rita: Dude, I can get dressed on my own.  
  
Chris: I mean when it comes to finding your way around here.  
  
Rita: Oh. Thanks.(Smiles at Chris.)  
  
Outside Bunker.  
  
(Several dozen men on motorcycles pull over in front of the bunker and begin to set up barricades. All of the men are armed with sub machineguns, shotguns, and rifles. After about ten minutes the barricades are all up with men behind them.)  
  
Biker Leader: Attack them now! (One of the men throws a crudely made bomb at the door, blowing it wide open.)  
  
Bunker.  
  
(Chris has just finished with Rita, who is now in the Female Dorms. Chris hears the explosion and runs into the hallway from the male dorms. A man with a denim vest and jeans is in the hallway packing a MAC 11. The biker raises his machine pistol, only to be double tapped in the chest by Kenny, who has just left the elevator, brandishing his Colt .45, Lenni's behind him, with her Glock in hand. Chris opens the door to the Female Dorms to see if everyone's alright, Rita jumps Chris from atop a bunk bed armed with a chair, she holds off her attack when she sees who it is.)  
  
Rita: Dude, sorry.  
  
(Gunfire from outside.)  
  
Chris: Gotta go! (Leaves, Glock in hand, Lenni is guarding the entrance, Kenny exits the elevator with an armload of weapons)  
  
Kenny: Here! (Tosses Chris an UZI, Chris hands it off to Rita, who cocks it.)  
  
Outside.  
  
(Stan, Ashley, and Matt are on their motorcycles on the top of a hill, packing their weapons. They ride down the hill.)  
  
--End Fic-- 


	4. Episode 104

South Park Wasteland Series.  
  
Episode 104.--The Battle.  
  
Outside Bunker.  
  
(Arial shot of the bunker. Several bikes are circling the bunker, and several more are on their sides by the door to the bunker. The bikers outside are all looking towards the bunker. Automatic gunfire and screaming can be heard from the inside of the bunker. Three people come from the hills on bikes. Ashley, Matt, and Stan. The other bikers don't notice the three scamps.)  
  
Ashley and Matt flank the bikers, drawing their pistols.  
  
Matt and Ashley open fire and strafe the bikers with their Berettas.  
  
Several bikers fall off their bikes bleeding profusely from what used to be their heads.  
  
Stan manages to go a few feet from the top of the hill, when one of the tires of the bike is blown out from under him, and he flies forward and rolls downhill as the bike follows, flipping and bouncing end over end with him.  
  
Five bikers remain.  
  
One of the bikers pulls a Colt Anaconda and fires at Ashley, missing her, causing a small cloud of dust to plume into the air from a small sand dune.  
  
Inside Bunker.  
  
(Chris, Rita, Lily, Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, and Lenni are taking cover behind several overturned tables in a pitched firefight with twelve bikers armed with hunting rifles.)  
  
Rita(Shouting to Chris.): Where the hell did these pricks come from!? Chris(Shouting to Rita.): I don't know! Aim for the head!  
  
Rita stands up holding the UZI like a rifle. She begins to open up on the bikers who are also standing.  
  
Chris(Shouting, panicked.): RITA!  
  
Rita falls to the ground screaming and bleeding , dropping the UZI in the process. Chris drops his pistol and grabs her by the armpits, then drags her into the Female Dorms.  
  
Lenni pulls her Glock and sets the fire selection to burst. She pounds three 9mm slugs down hall and sees a bikers head erupt into a cloud of fine red mist as he falls to the floor in relative silence. Lenni the runs into the female dorms.  
  
Cartman squeals and grabs the blood covered MAC 10 of a dead biker and begins to fire madly down the hallway with the others.  
  
Silence. The hallway is soaked with blood and anyone walking through the hall would be classified as being knee deep in the dead. Bikes can still be heard outside.  
  
Bikes. And shouting. And shooting.  
  
Cartman goes on all fours and vomits on the ground. Kyle looks over the table and sees Ashley standing in the doorway. She is carrying an M4 Carbine in her right hand, and a Beretta M9 in her left.  
  
Ashley: Holy shit, is everyone okay? Holy shit Kyle, you're hit. (Kyle looks at his arm, which is covered with blood. He falls over. Before he can hit the ground, Cartman catches him.) Ashley: Matt and Stan are driving off the bikers at the moment. (Sounds of gunfire from outside. Matt screams like a madman.) Cartman: Screw you guys, Ah'm going to kill bikers. Kyle: I'll come with. I've got three already. Cartman: Four. Kyle: Goddamnit! Ashley: I got seven. Kyle: Where's Rita? Cartman: Shot. She's in the dorms. (The blood drains from Kyle's face. A single tear rolls from his eye and hits the ground, mixing with the blood on the ground.)  
  
Female Dorms.  
  
(Rita is set on a bed, her stomach area covered with blood. Her shirt has been lifted up enough to show her stomach. There are three visible entry wounds, two flanking her navel, and one a little to the upper left. The bleeding has stopped, and she's breathing, weakly, but she is getting air. Chris is sitting beside her with a water filled bucket nearby, and a wet, stained cloth in hand, wiping away the blood. Rita moans painfully.)  
  
Chris(Tearful.): It'll be okay Rita. It'll be okay. (He begins to cry. Lenni enters, carrying a med kit. She takes out a needle filled with some odd purple liquid. She injects Rita with the needle, in the neck.)  
  
Chris: What is that? Lenni: A curative medicine. It'll force the bullets out of her and seal up the wounds. Essentially, the only thing this won't cure is death by incineration or explosion. They revived a guy who had been decapitated with this stuff. Chris: I hope you're right. (A tear rolls down his cheek.)  
  
Outside Bunker.  
  
(Ashley, Cartman, and Kyle are outside, shooting at bikers in the distance. Kyle's arm is bandaged up.)  
  
Kyle: Fourteen! Cartman: AY! Goddamnit! I've only got seven! (They hear a shotgun go off several times and some screams.) Ashley: C'mon! (Runs off in one direction, waving for Kyle and Cartman to follow. After some running, they come upon a bowl in the ground, about thirty feet wide and ten feet deep.)  
  
Stan is standing in the middle of the pit, holding his shotgun by the tip of the barrel, its handle resting on the ground.  
  
There are several bikers surrounding him, armed with knives, their guns lying on the ground behind them, they in turn, are surrounded by several dead bikers.  
  
Stan looks somewhat battered, but very confident. His eyes shift from biker to biker.  
  
One of the bikers lunges at Stan.  
  
Stan whips the shotgun back behind him with one hand, cracking the handle on the jaw of the oncoming biker as he jumps about five feet into the air and triple kicks another biker in the head and neck.  
  
Two bikers slash at Stan. One has his hand broken by the shotgun which swings back into Stan's hands.  
  
Stan empties a shell into the biker beside the one whose hand is broken, throws it into the air, end over end. Stan punches one of the bikers three times, once each in the neck, jaw, and nose. The shotgun lands back in Stan's right hand, by the handle.  
  
*BANG!*  
  
The biker with the broken hand falls to the ground with a fist-sized hole in his chest.  
  
Ashley: Stan! (She runs to him, Kyle and Cartman follow.) Stan: I'm okay. Where's Wendy? (Wendy tackle-hugs Stan.) Wendy: You're okay, you're okay! (Smiles, kisses Stan on the cheek. He seems not to notice. He begins to cry slowly. Wendy holds Stan close to her, the two of them on their knees, clinging to each other like shipwreck survivors to a slab of wood, surrounded by corpses and their companions.) Ashley: We'll be back at the bunker. Be careful. I'll be waiting for you two. (Ashley walks away, looking about the horizon for leftover enemies, pointing her rifle where she looks.) (Wendy looks at Stan. He looks sad.) Wendy: It's okay Stan. You did what you had to. (Stan projectile vomits on Wendy ala Lind Blair in "The Exorcist".) Wendy: Ewww!!! Stan!!!  
  
--End Fic-- 


End file.
